Sometimes we deserve more than people give us, and sometimes people deserve more from us than we give.
I’ll find you in the morning sun— Billie Holiday
And when the night is new
I’ll be looking at the moon
But I’ll be seeing you…
Today I have only this, a quote I am quite fond of:
“To be different is not necessarily to be ugly; to have a different idea is not necessarily to be wrong. The worst possible thing is for all of us to begin to look and talk and act and think alike.”– Gene Roddenberry
#IDIC (infinite diversity in infinite combinations)
When someone struggles with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, they’re usually their own worst enemy. I think something we should all keep in mind when we interact with people is that we have no idea what they’re walking with. Be kind.
On an opposite note, this First Sentence popped into my head:
I think I’d be pretty good at this whole life thing if it just weren’t for other people.
Tonight I find myself thinking of this First Sentence and its opposite. If you believe you can’t do something, you can’t.
I’ve spent a chunk of this evening trying to find a scene I remembered writing in relation to my novel. It was never meant to be in the novel itself – it was an exercise in solidifying the pre-novel lives of some of my secondary characters.
All I can find it an outline of the scene and this piece of dialogue:
“Davonte was a rascal. She got me to make my own first present from her.”
“Just part of it!”
What does it say about how long you’ve been working on a novel that you may have confused planning to write a scene with actually writing it?
In my endeavor to show and not tell, the part of my novel that covers this is a lot longer now, even though Danielle’s been cut out entirely.
At 0930 the jury unanimously decides to convict. At 1002, an APB is put out for Denielle’s arrest. At 1031 I learn about the WhoDidYouVoteFor project. By 1035 I have a headache.
I’m conflicted by the idea that it’s better to “show” when, as a writer, every piece of fiction I write is a story I’m telling. I think one real mark of a talented writer is knowing what to show and what to tell.
A lot of writing is thinking of the best way to say something. I like the first one but I think it may not necessarily be clear because of the multiple meanings of the word “well.”
In all cases, the first part of this is “I don’t miss him.”
I miss the idea of him well.
I miss the idea of him happy.
I miss the idea of him whole.
I miss the idea of him sound.
As is the case often, whether for better or worse, yesterday evening did not go as I planned. Practically everything I set out to do took longer than expected. I decided to go to bed rather than post here.
The tiny quote below is from a story where the character’s wife has just died (remember how I’m mean to all my characters?). It strikes me today that it applies to so many different relationships that end for so many reasons.
“We were happy together. Why doesn’t it ever last?”
It turns out getting your home ready for an open house takes time. That’s why I haven’t been posting as regularly as normal. I hope I never end up selling a place I’m still living in again.
The Star Trek and Doctor Who online fandoms have gotten really toxic. I don’t consider myself a Star Wars fan but I’ve read enough comments to see the toxicity there too. To be clear, you can like or dislike a show, and express your like or dislike, without being toxic. There are certainly fans in that category. But when looking at the loud and toxic mess, on one hand there are people talking about how liberal virtue signaling Social Justice Warriors have destroyed these beloved franchises and on the other hand there are accusations of racism, sexism, and Trump support against those who aren’t fans of the current iterations of these franchises. It gets so tiring and depressing to see and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.
I want more fun in my fandoms.
On an unrelated note…
It was the dining room table that destroyed our “friendship,” if you can call it that. She put it in far right hand corner. I centered it in the room so that my friends and I could all sit around it. After this, she declared war. Of course, I didn’t know that until weeks later.
Having watched Harry Potter movies 3, 4, 5, and 6 over the weekend has left me rereading some of my favorite Harry Potter fanfiction. There are stories I liked enough to turn into ebooks to read on my Kindle. They’re very different from the series and a couple of my absolute favorites include novel length takes on Snape adopting Harry. It sounds completely insane but it involves Snape being a better person than he actually was (and not being in love with Harry’s mom) and some stories pull it off in a really entertaining way.
Anyway, I’ll be getting back to rereading Harry Potter fanfic after posting this conversation that never ended up in any draft of my novel:
<You’ve lost your mind.>
<You’re just full of hate and fear. No harm’s been done.>
<That’s just because you were lucky. If it had worked you would have handed them more tools to use against us.>
<If it had worked they would be like us.>
<It takes more than just our abilities to make people like us. It’s everything else we were taught too.>
<Compassion? Respect for all people and their cultures? Seems like you could use a few more lessons yourself.>