“You don’t have to do it, you know.”
“Anything anyone is telling you to do. You can tell them to fuck off or whatever more polite thing you’d come up with. No one else is living your life.”
Just a reminder.
As I work to get my sleeping schedule back on track, I’m reminded of how hard it is to fit everything into the period between when I get home from work and when I go to bed. I wish adulting took less time. Or that I had a Time Turner. Or a TARDIS.
Since the evening is getting away from me, here’s a First Sentence I wrote on June 10:
He wanted to break me. And he didn’t succeed, not exactly. Not all of me. But he broke something.
I don’t know where my mind was but it doesn’t sound like a happy story, does it?
Inspired by yesterday’s post, here’s the first paragraph of a Sherlock Holmes fanfic I wrote on 02/01/2017.
I was so angry at his deception that I quite lost my senses. I walked out of the club while he was explaining his exploits to Lestrade, flagged down the first cab I saw, and asked the fellow to take me to his favorite restaurant. Once there, I ordered myself a simple meal, some good wine, and ate without fully registering the name of the establishment. Outside, another cabbie took me to his favorite hotel and I spent a quiet night hoping Holmes would not somehow manage to track me here, assuming he cared to try.
The question being, of course, would Sherlock Holmes be able to find him?
Some of my friends know that I used to write a lot of fanfiction, mostly when I was in high school and college. A lot of it is even available online.
I’ve continued to occasionally write fanfic, though in recent years it’s been entirely for my own amusement with no intention of ever sharing it.
Yesterday I finished listening to the Count of Monte Cristo audiobook. I’d already listened to a different audiobook of it twice and read it once, so this was my fourth time experiencing the story.
I’ve written three fanfics for the Count of Monte Cristo, and this morning I amused myself writing what I’m proclaiming to be my shortest fanfic ever. It would be my fourth one for this fandom if you were to include it in the list.
If you haven’t read the book this will be spoilery and make no sense, and it may not even make sense if you haven’t read it recently or enough times.
After the funeral, the Count of Monte Cristo walked Maximilien back to his home and told him that Valentine was not dead, and that he would be reunited with her in just a month’s time.
The longest minutes are the ones when you wait, not knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing what may have already happened. It would be easier if you could do something to help the people whose lives are in limbo. But maybe they’re not in limbo. Maybe they’re already gone and you’re just counting the minutes until you find out you never got to say goodbye. Right now you don’t know and the waiting feels…eternal.
When someone struggles with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, they’re usually their own worst enemy. I think something we should all keep in mind when we interact with people is that we have no idea what they’re walking with. Be kind.
On an opposite note, this First Sentence popped into my head:
I think I’d be pretty good at this whole life thing if it just weren’t for other people.
You think you’re different than me but you’re not. If the circumstances were right, you’d do the same thing. Or maybe not the same, but just as “bad.”
As is the case often, whether for better or worse, yesterday evening did not go as I planned. Practically everything I set out to do took longer than expected. I decided to go to bed rather than post here.
The tiny quote below is from a story where the character’s wife has just died (remember how I’m mean to all my characters?). It strikes me today that it applies to so many different relationships that end for so many reasons.
“We were happy together. Why doesn’t it ever last?”
It turns out getting your home ready for an open house takes time. That’s why I haven’t been posting as regularly as normal. I hope I never end up selling a place I’m still living in again.
The Star Trek and Doctor Who online fandoms have gotten really toxic. I don’t consider myself a Star Wars fan but I’ve read enough comments to see the toxicity there too. To be clear, you can like or dislike a show, and express your like or dislike, without being toxic. There are certainly fans in that category. But when looking at the loud and toxic mess, on one hand there are people talking about how liberal virtue signaling Social Justice Warriors have destroyed these beloved franchises and on the other hand there are accusations of racism, sexism, and Trump support against those who aren’t fans of the current iterations of these franchises. It gets so tiring and depressing to see and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.
I want more fun in my fandoms.
On an unrelated note…
It was the dining room table that destroyed our “friendship,” if you can call it that. She put it in far right hand corner. I centered it in the room so that my friends and I could all sit around it. After this, she declared war. Of course, I didn’t know that until weeks later.
Lana stands in the doorway of her office but it’s not her presence blocking Nadette’s way, it’s words strewn out, caustic and sharp, left everywhere to be tread upon.
P.S. The picture’s completely unrelated to this post. I just really like it.