Alan Rickman as Snape is one of the best casting choices ever made

I’m testing this theory where, because I’ve been sitting in front of my computer for the last couple hours and Ianta already did her computer-screen-blocking stint, I’ll be able to get through this blog post without her getting between me and my words. To that end, that’s this whole blog post. Goodnight!

 

Juuuuuust kidding.

So I didn’t edit Chapter 14 today and I don’t even care. I was too busy being super happy about how insanely adorable Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda is. Then I was too busy being super happy about how insanely adorable Love, Simon is. The (audio)book made me legitimately happy. Half the time I was walking around with this ridiculous grin on my face as I listened, and when I finished it, I started it over again.

The movie’s really pretty different (just as a general heads up to anyone who may be interested) but I think the changes worked for it and it was Erika-happy-making in its own right. I generally enjoy my fiction darker and more complex than this, which is great and all, but a book or movie or song or whatever that makes you happy is a really fantastic thing and I’ve been having a blast riding this happy wave.

I think I’m going to diverge from that story that’s been simmering the last week to post an excerpt from my novel that makes me happy, happy being the obvious theme of the day.

<What’s wrong?>

<I’m getting a lot of emails from friends. They want to know where I am, what’s wrong, why I’m on the news… I haven’t answered any of them, because what can I say? Today, I got a new one. From my first boss – it was a summer job at an aquarium. I haven’t spoken to her in years, but she’s reaching out, saying she hopes I’m okay.> He smiles wistfully.  <She’s like Professor McGonagall – extremely strict but altogether awesome.>

<I’ve never read Harry Potter.>

Carson sputters. Actually sputters. <What!?>

He sounds as aghast as I would if he told me he’d never heard of scrambled eggs. Restraining a smile, I shrug.

<But they’re so much fun! And you’re missing out on so many cultural references!>

<Most of the people I spend time with don’t reference Harry Potter.>

<You’re spending time with the wrong people,> he announces. <Well, we’re adding this to our list of human things you need to experience. And the movies too! Alan Rickman as Snape is one of the best casting choices ever made!>

Oh, really? Speaking of fun, I think I can have some with this. <I’m not reading Harry Potter,> I state with all the seriousness of someone committing to a lifelong pledge of honor.

Carson falters as if I’ve stolen the wind from his sails. <Why not?>

Because watching and hearing his reactions is priceless… But I’m not going to say that. <What am I possibly going to learn about humanity from Harry Potter that I can’t learn somewhere else?>

<How to approach the world with an open mind, how to accept people who are different than you, how love and forgiveness are more important than hate.>

<Really? No other literature speaks to these points?>

<I didn’t say that. Harry Potter is a lot of fun->

<So you’ve said.>

<And it expresses good values in an entertaining and easy to digest way. What do you have against it? Please tell me you don’t dislike something just because it’s popular?>

<Of course not. I’ve heard a lot about it, obviously, and it doesn’t sound appealing. The villain sounds too one-dimensional, and frankly stupid, and I’ve heard Harry and his friends don’t really evolve or grow as characters. I like it when the villain has depth and is not just evil incarnate, and I like it when the main characters come out of the story as different people than they went in.>  I never thought I’d use the knowledge in quite this way when I was reading about Harry Potter on Wikipedia in order to help me blend in with humans.

<But…> Carson gestures with both hands, verbally floundering.

Use your words. <Yes?>

<Just…try the first book. If you don’t like it->

<I’m not interested.>

<But you like the Chronicles of Narnia! You can’t tell me the villains are masterpieces of three-dimensionality.>

<No, but who doesn’t want to find a magical land inside their wardrobe?>

<Who doesn’t want to find out they’re a wizard and go to a magic school that you get to by boarding a train on a hidden platform?>

<Now, if Hermione were the main character, I’d read them. She sounds interesting. Or…what’s his name… Something with an ‘n’?>

<Neville.>

<Yes! Or Snape.>

<So…what is it that you’ve heard about Harry that you don’t like?>

<He doesn’t sound special or interesting.> The expression on his face… It’s like I’ve insulted his best friend. This is great!

<He’s brave, selfless, and forgiving. Not every hero needs to be the cleverest person.>

<I always got the impression with Harry that he was just unlucky Voldemort picked him, and that it was just that Voldemort picked him that gave him the ability to defeat Voldemort. It seems like Voldemort defeats himself through narrow thinking and not learning from his mistakes.>

<It’s usually frowned on to form opinions without having enough information to do so. You should read them, if only to have a real basis for your dislike.>

<Seven books is a lot to read just so that Harry Potter fans will be satisfied with the legitimacy of my dislike.> Before he can answer, I add, <Anyhow, let’s talk about something else.> There’s only so long I can defend a pretended dislike of a series I haven’t read. I’m sure teachers everywhere will agree Wikipedia is no substitute.

Carson looks fantastically disgruntled over such a trivial thing. I wonder if I’ve heard the last of this?

As it turns out, I haven’t. Carson starts slipping Harry Potter into random places, as if I might agree to read it if he catches me off guard. He does catch me off guard, but never as off guard as he wants.

::

<Can you please pass the salt and read Harry Potter?>

<Here’s the salt, and no.>

::

<Telepathic text messages are neat, if a bit distracting. Owls would be distracting too, but at least they wouldn’t pop up like someone’s inserted them into your brain.>

<Owls… What?>

<You’d understand that reference if you read Harry Potter.>

<You’re lucky I don’t have a Harry Potter book right now or I’d throw it at your head!>

::

<You know what would illuminate this conversation? Reading Harry Potter. What do you think?>

<No.>

<Don’t you think refusing to even try something is narrow minded?>

<Depends on what it is.>

::

<It’ll only take like six and a half hours.>

<What will?>

<Reading the first Harry Potter book.>

<Are you getting paid to promote it? Is J.K. Rowling a family friend or relative?>

It becomes an inside joke, or inside routine.

The scene may not even survive the editing process, but I love it anyway.

P.S. It worked! Ianta left me in peace to write this!