Diagnosis

Yesterday I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, an autoimmune disorder where the body attacks its own thyroid. I can’t help but think that it’s fitting given how frequently I’ve attacked myself with anxiety and criticism.

And so today, because I like to be dramatic, two First Sentences about the instants where life flips, the first from 2/12/2013 and the second from 2/17/2013.

1.

It took me three minutes to make the decision, ten to implement it, and fifteen years to atone for it.

2.

I’ve sat, in a thoughtless void, since getting the text. Ali got home thirty minutes ago and wanted to know why I was on the kitchen floor. I couldn’t explain so I showed her the phone. She swore loudly and immediately began making calls on her own cell.

All I can think as I hear her explaining in the background is that it really does take just a few seconds for the whole world to change.